Does gender matter???

God made man and woman. Boy grows up to be a man and girl, a woman. This is one of the first facts of life that we teach every child. Despite we being aware of another gender existing, we choose to snub the very existence of eunuchs. The dictionary meaning of a eunuch is a man who is castrated or who is not masculine and something on similar lines. If they are neither masculine nor classified as woman, then it is quite natural to given them an identity of their own and treat them just like any other human being. Over the years the fairer sex, woman, have been ill-treated in many ways and in some parts of the world, they are still fighting for what they deserve – RESPECT!  Does anybody think of eunuchs in this fight for justice and respect? They are shoved aside and glared at.

In a country like India, we often get to see many eunuchs recourse to begging or prostitution and most of us screw up our face in repulsion or turn away quickly in fright. How many of them have a respectable job and how many of us would treat them equally if they were to be our colleague or even employ them? Documentaries, movies, social groups and movements portraying eunuchs in a good light and also, asking for support from men and women are abundant.  But can we really empathise with them? Will we ever be able to imagine their plight of facing every new day? Is it sufficient for us to just understand their condition and feel sorry for them and not abuse or taunt them? Will that prevent them from being considered as an outcast? Will that improve their life? Well, I am not really sure how I can make a difference to their life other than expressing my sympathy for their ill-treatment. In fact, there are eunuchs in India who have made a name for themselves. I can recollect a person by name ‘Rose’ who was educated in the US and got back to India and hosted a talk show in one of the regional languages about flaws in the society. I can also think of a celebrity hair stylist named ‘Sylvie’ who was very popular in the film industry. So what about the other 1000s of eunuchs in India?

The other fact of life that we learn quite early is man and woman love each other, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Again, we do not teach our children about some people who have a sexual preference quite different from what is generally assumed to be. We do not consider a man having a relation with another man, or a woman with another woman to be a natural occurrence. Though same–sex relationships and marriages have been accepted and approved of in some parts of the world, it is still a taboo to most of us.  Sexual orientation is one’s personal choice and nobody can be judgemental about it. The very mention of the word ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ raises eyebrows and an exchange of an un-called for conversation is unavoidable. There are special pubs and bars for the homosexuals which the others might not step foot in. Again, isn’t this a type of social outcast?

There are many celebrity homosexuals in the world of films, sports, art, literature and others, but they sure would have faced unmentionable abuse and discrimination during their formative years. There are many people who try to live ignoring their preferences and hence, end up ruining their life. Everybody deserves to love and be loved in this world. If God created humans, then we should understand that there are different kinds of people with different set of preferences and opinions. Everybody is unique and deserves to be treated with respect. We should be non-judgemental because we have no rights to judge anybody and everybody has the right to live their life their own way. Accept people the way they are and be accommodating is the least each one of us can do.

Definition of beauty

Life is an irony. Every other day, we come across a sardonic event, maybe in its most subtle form that it is hard to recognise it instantly. Contemplating on these with a humorous attitude makes life more enjoyable.

One such fact of life that pops up in my mind right now is the definition of ‘being beautiful’. As it goes ‘Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder’, which I am completely for, else every person on the face of this earth would seem beautiful to each other. This is also the reason why we find some people looking outrageously ridiculous in an attempt to be good-looking. What one person finds attractive will seem unacceptable for another person, and it is not a question of right and wrong because people have their own preferences and they nobody can be critical about one’s personal choices. But does that stop us from passing comments? It is the human tendency to critique and appraise others and it is pretty natural for us to be scrutinised as well.

The perception of people about the aspects of beauty differs significantly and I still cannot really figure out what influences these perceptions. I have always been aware of the Indians’ obsession with fair-skin, though there are many unprejudiced Indians who think being dusky is beautiful.   The myriad of fairness cream advertisements throws fuel to the raging fire and takes the thoughtless people who fall into the trap for a ride. On the other hand, our white-skinned counterparts are in a perpetual attempt to get tanned and would not think twice before shelling out money for the tanning parlours. The funny part is that these white-skinned mortals find the dusky-skinned Asians attractive and vice-versa. The realisation and acceptance of the natural tone of one’s skin may not happen in the near future, mainly because of the lack of awareness of the demand of the other’s attributes. All of us have to understand that there are people from other lands who would be ever ready to switch shoes with us.

I have my favourites in all ranges of complexions and I will not be dishonest in saying that beauty only lies in the heart and not on the skin. But beauty without brains would be a major disaster and the stupidity and immaturity may turn out to be so overpowering that the beholder would gradually change the outlook of his insight. Hence, beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder!

Changing times...for the worst.

I have always loved summers. I love the sunlight on my face every morning I open the curtains. Everything looks cheerful and bright and the yellow glow of the sun gets me going with the day.

Having spent most of my life in the sands of the Arabia – it does sound mysterious and exotic isn’t it? Like one of the enigmatic characters in the Arabian Nights. Returning to reality, the United Arab Emirates is a desert which has been transformed into a developed city with lush gardens, beautiful beaches and all those amenities or facilities that you would experience in any other developed country in the world. Before I dive into reminiscing the outrageous developments in the country, I wanted to tell you that never have I felt uncomfortable in the heat of the Arabia. Rather, I did not encounter an instance where I had to experience the sweltering heat of the summer. Air-conditioners in every place that you can think of – it was a basic necessity in that country when it was an item of luxury in most countries. So I would say I spent my summer years in Abu Dhabi in absolute bliss of the air-conditioners.

The summer in Bangalore is just as scorching hot and I need to find solace under the speeding ceiling fan. Though air-conditioner is not really a luxury anymore in India, people tell me the weather in Bangalore doesn’t really need one. Maybe years back, I would have agreed with them but not anymore.

Every year the summer is getting hotter and winter colder. This is sourced to the one and only ‘global warming’ – I have been hearing these 2 words for nearly 2 decades now and ofcourse, the threatening effect of it has been dwindling significantly. We all know the cause of global warming. We know the consequence of it, in fact we have been facing its consequence in many forms. Yet, we continue to fight against nature. It is not required anymore to state the ways in how we battle against nature. In the name of science and technology, we are not only destroying the earth but even us directly. Topics like deforestation and pollution have been discussed and debated for ages.

Let us look at the advent of cosmetic surgery – is there any part in the body that cannot go under the knife for a modification leading to beautification? If you have money, you can re-sculpture and re-define yourself.

Almost every other day, a new electronic gadget is born in the market. Children are far more advanced and tech-savvy today. The sight of a toddler playing with the parent’s mobile phone is very common. The pace at which those nimble fingers operate the phone maybe a proud moment for the parents. They puff their chest with pride and narrate stories of how smart their child is. Though it is fascinating to see the kid play with the gadget rather than the toys, I worry if the radiation from the phone would affect the child’s body, if the brightness of the panel would affect the eyes of the child, if the heat emanating from the phone would affect the delicate body.

There are many other everyday encounters where we come face-to-face technology that affects our life adversely. Being humans and with the ability to think, we need to draw a line on the usage on technology and science. We are dependent on technology and science and in fact, we are controlled by them. Our survival instincts are slowly deteriorating and I’m afraid it would be too late before we realise how far we have stretched to gain comfort in our lives and nature turns its back to hold us from falling over.

 

High over tea!

What is more refreshing than starting the day with a cup of tea!!!  

When I graduated from my days of drinking only milk, I found coffee to be my kick-starter of the day. I liked it strong and bitter and would grab a cappuccino from Starbucks at every opportunity I get. It has been more than 6 years since I discovered the magical world of TEA. I used to spend more time at the neatly stacked tea shelves in the supermarket than any other section, totally immersed in the world of herbal infusions, different flavours of green tea, beautifully wrapped packs of black tea and many more.

I remember being addicted to green tea at one point of my life, which meant I could not think straight without sipping on one. Then I diving deep into the ocean of tea and found the intoxicating aroma and flavor of different herbal infusions – my favourite still remains Strawberry and Cranberry infusion. I love watching the colour of water changing into a deep red tone when I dip the tea bag and the aroma that wafting out takes me out into a another galaxy!!! I relish every sip I take and make sure my cup is help just beneath my nose for a constant whiff.  Also, there is nothing like a steaming cup of freshly brewed black tea with sugar topped with some sprigs of fresh mint leaves. The scent of mint leaves and the tea will relax your senses and bring a smile to your face. How can I forget the chamomile tea - my savior during my monthly cramps. The flavor of chamomile is not very easy to describe but it soothes you and I’d say its equivalent to the feel of cool ocean breeze.

When I learnt about the tea ceremony of Japan I was completely fascinated by the special importance given to the brewing and serving of tea. Japanese culture has never stopped to amuse me and I am totally captivated by their traditions, dresses, art, mannerisms, language and many more except for the cuisine (I cannot get myself to eat anything beyond miso soup). The Japanese tea ceremony where the whole concept of having people over tea and the elaborate way of serving it by beautifully dressed dainty women sounds like such an exotic experience.

I was totally elated when I came across Infinitea in Bangalore – a tea bar in Cunningham Road where you get to drink almost all types of tea under the sun. Besides the oolong tea, black tea, infusions etc., there is a new variety called the flower tea where the dry tea leaf flower or whatever you call it blooms into a flower when you pour hot water over it. It is so delightful to watch and then drink the concoction over a tea-filled conversation.

Hey coffee-lovers, beat that!!!

The most uncomfortable discussion...Still??

Every morning I open the newspaper to a minimum of 2 sexual assault articles in some part of the world and occasionally an article about sex education. I do not want to talk about the former mainly because it is very disturbing and demonic and it would make this blog look very dark.

I have been hearing about sex education in school for more than 10 years now. I never had one in school though and the closest to this topic we had was a session of menstruation and how babies are born (where the intercourse part was cleverly excluded). This session was specially arranged by the school where girls of 6^th to 9^th grade were asked to attend. Since, the Biology teachers were shy and I still cannot imagine why they have to be in front of a bunch of silly girls, a doctor was invited to talk. It was definitely an educative session and I felt the school did an excellent job of getting a doctor to explain the process. But what I cannot forget was the atmosphere created by the teachers – I recollect how everybody looked grave and were staring at each one of us. Some of us had the jitters and we felt we were going to be beheaded.

I do not want to generalise all the teachers or parents in this world – but I strongly feel that the parents and teachers need to relax some of their muscles and not make a big deal about sex education where they scare the hell out of the children. They manipulate the children’s mind in getting them to think it’s a taboo and a topic which cannot be breached upon. Even today, not all parents are comfortable in talking about this to their children. Quick glances are exchanged, unnecessary clearing of throat, sudden recollection of something important and hence, disappearance act are some of the common reactions from parents when children pose any sex related question. It is totally unfair to blame the parents because they would be in a dilemma on how much detail to disclose without blemishing the child’s innocence. But is a child’s innocence stained when they know about sex?  

I am no psychologist or counsellor to give tips or advice on how to educate your child on sex, but it would be easy if we start to look at the forbidden word in a new light. It is definitely not shameful and it is the nature’s way of procreation. The concept of right and wrong can be broadly explained only until the children reach a certain age – which would obviously be what the parent’s think is right or wrong. It is essential, however, to teach the children to think on their own to make the right decision – giving them the freedom to make the right choice. It is important to have sex education in all schools. It is very important to educate the children at a very young age about their body and the ‘good touch’ and the ‘bad touch’. The world is most certainly not a safe place and it is not an easy task to have the children under our wings all the time. Hence, be aware and be approachable to not just your child but others’ as well.

The Taj

The other day I was browsing through my Delhi-Agra-Jaipur photographs and came across the picture of the Taj Mahal. I was still amazed to find out my level of admiration did not decrease. I have never been taken aback by any structure ever in my life except for the Taj Mahal.

Having lived in the UAE for more than 20 years, I have seen numerous sky-scrapers, building of various shapes (well one of my favourites in Abu Dhabi is the Aldar Office – you could google for it), mosques, malls and many more. But I was never fascinated or never stopped in my tracks to give it a second look.

I have also visited many museums, palaces, churches, cathedrals and other historical structures in the UK. I have also seen the Eiffel Tower, one of the other wonders of the world, and other beautiful buildings in Paris. The Eiffel Tower was definitely a pretty sight in the evening, but it failed to make a deep impression in my mind.

A year and a half back, my husband and I made plans to visit the Taj Mahal. I wanted to find out what was so great about it to be considered as one of the wonders of the world. I have seen pictures in books, shots of it in movies and it looked like just another mosque made of white marble. It has a touching love story behind it – was that one of the reasons to make it so popular?

So, we take a train from Delhi to Agra, early in the morning – all excited. The train journey was uneventful. On reaching Agra, I was so disgusted by the foul smell and garbage piled up all around. People were oblivious to the nastiness around and were hurrying up to the taxi stand. I was struggling to make my way between the piles of crap and being careful not to step on anything squishy.

After our visit to Fatehpur Sikri and lunch, we headed to the Taj Mahal. We entered one of the gates and I was shocked to see throngs of people swarming all over the place. Few minutes of walking and we reached the arch and it was again filled up with people either posing for or taking photographs. We snaked our way between them and finally, the sight of IT emerged! For a minute, I was rooted to my spot. I am not exaggerating - I had goosebumps. I was awestruck by the massiveness of the Taj Mahal. As we walked towards it, I started wondering, just like anybody – how the hell did they manage to build it without any of the technology that we have now? The beauty of the Taj Mahal is beyond explanation. It has to be seen and experienced. Taking a closer look, I was spell bound by the perfection it was built with. I could not spot anything that was out of place. The science and art that has gone into the construction of this divine structure is truly admirable. I, then realised why it was considered a wonder and it more than deserves to be.

I was exhilarated by this experience and the smile on my face remained till we got back to Delhi that night.

Pyramids of Egypt is yet to be struck-off from my list of must-sees.

 

The end of a life...

Is there another emotinal pain worse than losing someone at the hands of death?
Death is inevitable and unexpected most of the times, but life goes on. When you lose someone you love and care, the intensity of the pain is the maximum for those who are really close to him/her.

How would you feel when you see a person struggling for life on the hospital bed? Your heart goes out for the person and all you can do is pray to the Almighty to show some form of miracle and allow the person to survive. Or you beg and plead with the doctor to do eveything he can and make the person better.

What if the doctor is trying to tell you that the situation is grim and diplomatically tells you that the person's survival rate is extremely less? You are grasping at the last straws of hope and again, hoping that a miracle does happen. You try to convince yourself and others that the Almighty will definitely listen to your prayers.

What would you do when the doctor firmly tells you that it's just a matter of hours irrespective of the life support? You are completely lost now. Time is unstoppable. You begin to question the existence of the Almighty. You refuse to accept the doctor's final words and begin to suspect if they have done everything to save his life.

You finally hear about the soul leaving the body. Some people are wailing uncontrollably, some are crying silently and pretending to be brave. The composed ones are busy making arrangements for the final rites.

Isn't it strange how one refers to a dead person as just 'body' once the soul departs? The body has absolutely no identity without the soul - though soul is not visible.

It may take days, months or even years to overcome the feeling of losing someone forever - to come to terms with the fact that you will never ever be able to touch the person, look the person in the eye or hear the person's voice.

Death is defintely cruel but it is a part of lifecycle and wish the Almighty had given a seventh sense devoid of all emotions and only extreme strength to face it.